All Hail the Office Bully
Various surveys demonstrate bullying happens to 25-50% of the workforce, depending on whether you include witness reports. The fact is that many of us do not realize we are being bullied or are too ashamed to admit it. Most of us expect bullying to be overt, such as yelling, name calling and shaming techniques. It can often be much more subtle, making it more difficult to detect and prove.
Despite the extensive research and more awareness of the value of diversity, differences, and the importance of having introverts on a team and how important all of this is for real workplace success, bullies continue to thrive. In fact, a 2007 Zogby International survey found that 49% of workers are bullied at the office, repeatedly treated in health-harming ways, resulting in cardiovascular problems, an impaired immune system, debilitating anxiety and even PTSD.
Bullies desire to control others, usually for his or her own agenda. They are skilled “people readers” and make it their task to understand someone’s flaws to determine what techniques can be used against them. Some even go a step further and mask their bullying behind a charming and nice demeanor and even a noble cause (http://www.forbes.com/2008/03/22/health-bullying-office-forbeslife-cx_avd_0324health.html).
Adult bullies are drawn to positions of authority, though they can be found anywhere. They thrive in environments that are tolerant of such behavior, either because they are filled with people naïve to the fact that their peer might be a bully or they are scared of the consequences of pointing out the behavior (http://bullyonline.org/workbully/amibeing.htm#how_does_it_happen_in_civilised_environment).
How to Recognize the Subtleties of the Workplace Bully
(Abbreviated excerpt from http://www.workplacebullying.org/erc/)
These subtle signs are all used to create an emotional reaction, usually anxiety, which establishes greater control and power over the victim.
. Deceit & Mind Games. Obscuring information so that others arrive at incorrect conclusions, then exposing their mistakes as proof of ignorance or unreliability
. Intimidation. Overt or veiled threats; fear-inducing communication and behavior
. Ignoring. Purposefully ignoring, avoiding, “forgetting” to invite someone to a meeting
. Isolation/exclusion. Intentionally excluding someone from decisions, conversations
. Minimization. Discounting or failing to address someone’s legitimate concerns
. Diversion. Dodging issues, changing the subject to distract away from the issue
. Shame and guilt. Making an employee constantly feel that they are the problem,
. Pitting coworkers against each other.
. Criticism. Criticizing someone’s work or behavior, usually for unwarranted reasons
. Withholding information. Withholding or giving others the wrong information
. Projection of blame. Shifting blame to others and using them as a scapegoat
. Taking credit. Taking or stealing credit for other people’s ideas and contributions
. Seduction. Using excessive flattery and compliments to get people to trust them, lower their defenses, and be more responsive to manipulative behavior
. Use of political gamesmanship. Building alliances, undermining non-supporters
. Increasing control. Taking over more company resources, resulting in fewer resources available to rivals
Now What?
It is important that companies have clearly worded and defined policies that demonstrate a commitment against bullying. These policies ought to include:
. a clear definition of what is considered bullying, including a list of some of the behaviors that meet the definition
. a clear outline of how employees can report bullying, including what to do when the bully is a superior
. a detailed explanation of the complaint and investigation process that will occur
. a “no retaliation” clause to help employees feel safe about reporting problem behavior, and
. a list of consequences of violating the anti-bullying policy.
http://www.hrmorning.com/8-workplace-bully-personality-types/
We must continue to make the effort to look at ourselves, our motivations, how and why we think a certain way, and who we express our thoughts, how we garner support. Is it manipulative? Is someone else being manipulative….
This post originally appeared in the Illiinois Psychologist newsletter
Posted by: Karla Steingraber, Psy.D.October 5th, 2016 Share
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